第五章 CHAPTER VI
作者:(美)海伦·凯勒 著
发布时间:2019-09-10 10:27:59
字数:13911
CHAPTERVI
IHADnowthekeytoalllanguage,andIwaseagertolearntouseit.Childrenwhohearacquirelanguagewithoutanyparticulareffort;thewordsthatfallfromothers'lipstheycatchonthewing,asitwere,delightedly,whilethelittledeafchildmusttrapthembyaslowandoftenpainfulprocess.Butwhatevertheprocess,theresultiswonderful.GraduallyfromnaminganobjectweadvancestepbystepuntilwehavetraversedthevastdistancebetweenourfirststammeredsyllableandthesweepofthoughtinalineofShakespeare.
Atfirst,whenmyteachertoldmeaboutanewthingIaskedveryfewquestions.Myideaswerevague,andmyvocabularywasinadequate;butasmyknowledgeofthingsgrew,andIlearnedmoreandmorewords,myfieldofinquirybroadened,andIwouldreturnagainandagaintothesamesubject,eagerforfurtherinformation.Sometimesanewwordrevivedanimagethatsomeearlierexperiencehadengravedonmybrain.
IrememberthemorningthatIfirstaskedthemeaningoftheword,"love."ThiswasbeforeIknewmanywords.Ihadfoundafewearlyvioletsinthegardenandbroughtthemtomyteacher.Shetriedtokissme:butatthattimeIdidnotliketohaveanyonekissmeexceptmymother.MissSullivanputherarmgentlyroundmeandspelledintomyhand,"IloveHelen."
"Whatislove?"Iasked.
Shedrewmeclosertoherandsaid,"Itishere,"pointingtomyheart,whosebeatsIwasconsciousofforthefirsttime.HerwordspuzzledmeverymuchbecauseIdidnotthenunderstandanythingunlessItouchedit.
Ismeltthevioletsinherhandandasked,halfinwords,halfinsigns,aquestionwhichmeant,"Islovethesweetnessofflowers?"
"No,"saidmyteacher.
AgainIthought.Thewarmsunwasshiningonus.
"Isthisnotlove?"Iasked,pointinginthedirectionfromwhichtheheatcame."Isthisnotlove?"
Itseemedtomethattherecouldbenothingmorebeautifulthanthesun,whosewarmthmakesallthingsgrow.ButMissSullivanshookherhead,andIwasgreatlypuzzledanddisappointed.Ithoughtitstrangethatmyteachercouldnotshowmelove.
AdayortwoafterwardIwasstringingbeadsofdifferentsizesinsymmetricalgroups–twolargebeads,threesmallones,andsoon.Ihadmademanymistakes,andMissSullivanhadpointedthemoutagainandagainwithgentlepatience.FinallyInoticedaveryobviouserrorinthesequenceandforaninstantIconcentratedmyattentiononthelessonandtriedtothinkhowIshouldhavearrangedthebeads.MissSullivantouchedmyforeheadandspelledwithdecidedemphasis,"Think."
InaflashIknewthatthewordwasthenameoftheprocessthatwasgoingoninmyhead.Thiswasmyfirstconsciousperceptionofanabstractidea.
ForalongtimeIwasstill–Iwasnotthinkingofthebeadsinmylap,buttryingtofindameaningfor"love"inthelightofthisnewidea.Thesunhadbeenunderacloudallday,andtherehadbeenbriefshowers;butsuddenlythesunbrokeforthinallitssouthernsplendour.
Again,Iaskedmyteacher,"Isthisnotlove?"
"Loveissomethinglikethecloudsthatwereintheskybeforethesuncameout,"shereplied.Theninsimplerwordsthanthese,whichatthattimeIcouldnothaveunderstood,sheexplained:"Youcannottouchtheclouds,youknow;butyoufeeltherainandknowhowgladtheflowersandthethirstyeartharetohaveitafterahotday.Youcannottouchloveeither;butyoufeelthesweetnessthatitpoursintoeverything.Withoutloveyouwouldnotbehappyorwanttoplay."
Thebeautifultruthburstuponmymind–Ifeltthattherewereinvisiblelinesstretchedbetweenmyspiritandthespiritsofothers.
FromthebeginningofmyeducationMissSullivanmadeitapracticetospeaktomeasshewouldtoanyhearingchild;theonlydifferencewasthatshespelledthesentencesintomyhandinsteadofspeakingthem.IfIdidnotknowthewordsandidiomsnecessarytoexpressmythoughtsshesuppliedthem,evensuggestingconversationwhenIwasunabletokeepupmyendofthedialogue.
Thisprocesswascontinuedforseveralyears;forthedeafchilddoesnotlearninamonth,orevenintwoorthreeyears,thenumberlessidiomsandexpressionsusedinthesimplestdailyintercourse.Thelittlehearingchildlearnsthesefromconstantrepetitionandimitation.Theconversationhehearsinhishomestimulateshismindandsuggeststopicsandcallsforththespontaneousexpressionofhisownthoughts.Thisnaturalexchangeofideasisdeniedtothedeafchild.Myteacher,realizingthis,determinedtosupplythekindsofstimulusIlacked.Thisshedidbyrepeatingtomeasfaraspossible,verbatimwhatsheheard,andbyshowingmehowIcouldtakepartintheconversation.ButitwasalongtimebeforeIventuredtotaketheinitiative,andstilllongerbeforeIcouldfindsomethingappropriatetosayattherighttime.
Thedeafandtheblindfinditverydifficulttoacquiretheamenitiesofconversation.Howmuchmorethisdifficultymustbeaugmentedinthecaseofthosewhoarebothdeafandblind!Theycannotdistinguishthetoneofthevoiceor,withoutassistance,goupanddownthegamutoftonesthatgivesignificancetowords;norcantheywatchtheexpressionofthespeaker'sface,andalookisoftentheverysoulofwhatonesays.
CHAPTERVII
THEnextimportantstepinmyeducationwaslearningtoread.
AssoonasIcouldspellafewwordsmyteachergavemeslipsofcardboardonwhichwereprintedwordsinraisedletters.Iquicklylearnedthateachprintedwordstoodforanobject,anact,oraquality.IhadaframeinwhichIcouldarrangethewordsinlittlesentences;butbeforeIeverputsentencesintheframeIusedtomaketheminobjects.Ifoundtheslipsofpaperwhichrepresented,forexample,"doll,""is,""on,""bed"andplacedeachnameonitsobject;thenIputmydollonthebedwiththewordsis,on,bedarrangedbesidethedoll,thusmakingasentenceoutofthewords,andatthesametimecarryingouttheideaofthesentencewiththethingsthemselves.
Oneday,MissSullivantellsme,Ipinnedthewordgirlonmypinaforeandstoodinthewardrobe.OntheshelfIarrangedthewords,is,in,wardrobe.Nothingdelightedmesomuchasthisgame.MyteacherandIplayeditforhoursatatime.Ofteneverythingintheroomwasarrangedinobjectsentences.
Fromtheprintedslipitwasbutasteptotheprintedbook.Itookmy"ReaderforBeginners"andhuntedforthewordsIknew;whenIfoundthemmyjoywaslikethatofagameofhide-and-seek.ThusIbegantoread.OfthetimewhenIbegantoreadconnectedstoriesIshallspeaklater.
ForalongtimeIhadnoregularlessons.EvenwhenIstudiedmostearnestlyitseemedmorelikeplaythanwork.EverythingMissSullivantaughtmesheillustratedbyabeautifulstoryorapoem.Wheneveranythingdelightedorinterestedmeshetalkeditoverwithmejustasifshewerealittlegirlherself.Whatmanychildrenthinkofwithdread,asapainfulploddingthroughgrammar,hardsumsandharderdefinitions,isto-dayoneofmymostpreciousmemories.
IcannotexplainthepeculiarsympathyMissSullivanhadwithmypleasuresanddesires.Perhapsitwastheresultoflongassociationwiththeblind.Addedtothisshehadawonderfulfacultyfordescription.Shewentquicklyoveruninterestingdetails,andnevernaggedmewithquestionstoseeifIrememberedtheday-before-yesterday'slesson.Sheintroduceddrytechnicalitiesofsciencelittlebylittle,makingeverysubjectsorealthatIcouldnothelprememberingwhatshetaught.
Wereadandstudiedoutofdoors,preferringthesunlitwoodstothehouse.Allmyearlylessonshaveinthemthebreathofthewoods–thefine,resinousodourofpineneedles,blendedwiththeperfumeofwildgrapes.Seatedinthegraciousshadeofawildtuliptree,Ilearnedtothinkthateverythinghasalessonandasuggestion."Thelovelinessofthingstaughtmealltheiruse."Indeed,everythingthatcouldhum,orbuzz,orsing,orbloom,hadapartinmyeducation–noisy-throatedfrogs,katydidsandcricketsheldinmyhanduntil,forgettingtheirembarrassment,theytrilledtheirreedynote,littledownychickensandwild-flowers,thedogwoodblossoms,meadow-violetsandbuddingfruittrees.Ifelttheburstingcotton-bollsandfingeredtheirsoftfiberandfuzzyseeds;Ifeltthelowsoughingofthewindthroughthecornstalks,thesilkyrustlingofthelongleaves,andtheindignantsnortofmypony,aswecaughthiminthepastureandputthebitinhismouth–ahme!howwellIrememberthespicy,cloverysmellofhisbreath!
SometimesIroseatdawnandstoleintothegardenwhiletheheavydewlayonthegrassandflowers.Fewknowwhatjoyitistofeeltherosespressingsoftlyintothehand,orthebeautifulmotionoftheliliesastheyswayinthemorningbreeze.SometimesIcaughtaninsectintheflowerIwasplucking,andIfeltthefaintnoiseofapairofwingsrubbedtogetherinasuddenterror,asthelittlecreaturebecameawareofapressurefromwithout.
Anotherfavouritehauntofminewastheorchard,wherethefruitripenedearlyinJuly.Thelarge,downypeacheswouldreachthemselvesintomyhand,andasthejoyousbreezesflewaboutthetreestheapplestumbledatmyfeet.Oh,thedelightwithwhichIgatheredupthefruitinmypinafore,pressedmyfaceagainstthesmoothcheeksoftheapples,stillwarmfromthesun,andskippedbacktothehouse!
OurfavouritewalkwastoKeller'sLanding,anoldtumble-downlumber-wharfontheTennesseeRiver,usedduringtheCivilWartolandsoldiers.Therewespentmanyhappyhoursandplayedatlearninggeography.Ibuiltdamsofpebbles,madeislandsandlakes,anddugriver-beds,allforfun,andneverdreamedthatIwaslearningalesson.IlistenedwithincreasingwondertoMissSullivan'sdescriptionsofthegreatroundworldwithitsburningmountains,buriedcities,movingriversofice,andmanyotherthingsasstrange.Shemaderaisedmapsinclay,sothatIcouldfeelthemountainridgesandvalleys,andfollowwithmyfingersthedeviouscourseofrivers.Ilikedthis,too;butthedivisionoftheearthintozonesandpolesconfusedandteasedmymind.Theillustrativestringsandtheorangestickrepresentingthepolesseemedsorealthateventothisdaythemerementionoftemperatezonesuggestsaseriesoftwinecircles;andIbelievethatifanyoneshouldsetaboutithecouldconvincemethatwhitebearsactuallyclimbtheNorthPole.
ArithmeticseemstohavebeentheonlystudyIdidnotlike.FromthefirstIwasnotinterestedinthescienceofnumbers.MissSullivantriedtoteachmetocountbystringingbeadsingroups,andbyarrangingkindergartenstrawsIlearnedtoaddandsubtract.Ineverhadpatiencetoarrangemorethanfiveorsixgroupsatatime.WhenIhadaccomplishedthismyconsciencewasatrestfortheday,andIwentoutquicklytofindmyplaymates.
InthissameleisurelymannerIstudiedzo?logyandbotany.
Onceagentleman,whosenameIhaveforgotten,sentmeacollectionoffossils–tinymolluskshellsbeautifullymarked,andbitsofsandstonewiththeprintofbirds'claws,andalovelyferninbas-relief.Thesewerethekeyswhichunlockedthetreasuresoftheantediluvianworldforme.WithtremblingfingersIlistenedtoMissSullivan'sdescriptionsoftheterriblebeasts,withuncouth,unpronounceablenames,whichoncewenttrampingthroughtheprimevalforests,tearingdownthebranchesofgigantictreesforfood,anddiedinthedismalswampsofanunknownage.Foralongtimethesestrangecreatureshauntedmydreams,andthisgloomyperiodformedasomberbackgroundtothejoyousNow,filledwithsunshineandrosesandechoingwiththegentlebeatofmypony'shoof.
Anothertimeabeautifulshellwasgivenme,andwithachild'ssurpriseanddelightIlearnedhowatinymolluskhadbuiltthelustrouscoilforhisdwellingplace,andhowonstillnights,whenthereisnobreezestirringthewaves,theNautilussailsonthebluewatersoftheIndianOceaninhis"shipofpearl."AfterIhadlearnedagreatmanyinterestingthingsaboutthelifeandhabitsofthechildrenofthesea–howinthemidstofdashingwavesthelittlepolypsbuildthebeautifulcoralislesofthePacific,andtheforaminiferahavemadethechalk-hillsofmanyaland–myteacherreadme"TheChamberedNautilus,"andshowedmethattheshell-buildingprocessofthemollusksissymbolicalofthedevelopmentofthemind.Justasthewonder-workingmantleoftheNautiluschangesthematerialitabsorbsfromthewaterandmakesitapartofitself,sothebitsofknowledgeonegathersundergoasimilarchangeandbecomepearlsofthought.
Again,itwasthegrowthofaplantthatfurnishedthetextforalesson.Weboughtalilyandsetitinasunnywindow.Verysoonthegreen,pointedbudsshowedsignsofopening.Theslender,fingerlikeleavesontheoutsideopenedslowly,reluctant,Ithought,torevealthelovelinesstheyhid;oncehavingmadeastart,however,theopeningprocesswentonrapidly,butinorderandsystematically.Therewasalwaysonebudlargerandmorebeautifulthantherest,whichpushedheroutercoveringbackwithmorepomp,asifthebeautyinsoft,silkyrobesknewthatshewasthelily-queenbyrightdivine,whilehermoretimidsistersdoffedtheirgreenhoodsshyly,untilthewholeplantwasonenoddingboughoflovelinessandfragrance.
Oncetherewereeleventadpolesinaglassglobesetinawindowfullofplants.IremembertheeagernesswithwhichImadediscoveriesaboutthem.Itwasgreatfuntoplungemyhandintothebowlandfeelthetadpolesfriskabout,andtoletthemslipandslidebetweenmyfingers.Onedayamoreambitiousfellowleapedbeyondtheedgeofthebowlandfellonthefloor,whereIfoundhimtoallappearancemoredeadthanalive.Theonlysignoflifewasaslightwrigglingofhistail.Butnosoonerhadhereturnedtohiselementthanhedartedtothebottom,swimmingroundandroundinjoyousactivity.Hehadmadehisleap,hehadseenthegreatworld,andwascontenttostayinhisprettyglasshouseunderthebigfuchsiatreeuntilheattainedthedignityoffroghood.Thenhewenttoliveintheleafypoolattheendofthegarden,wherehemadethesummernightsmusicalwithhisquaintlove-song.
ThusIlearnedfromlifeitself.AtthebeginningIwasonlyalittlemassofpossibilities.Itwasmyteacherwhounfoldedanddevelopedthem.Whenshecame,everythingaboutmebreathedofloveandjoyandwasfullofmeaning.Shehasneversinceletpassanopportunitytopointoutthebeautythatisineverything,norhassheceasedtryinginthoughtandactionandexampletomakemylifesweetanduseful.
Itwasmyteacher'sgenius,herquicksympathy,herlovingtactwhichmadethefirstyearsofmyeducationsobeautiful.Itwasbecausesheseizedtherightmomenttoimpartknowledgethatmadeitsopleasantandacceptabletome.Sherealizedthatachild'smindislikeashallowbrookwhichripplesanddancesmerrilyoverthestonycourseofitseducationandreflectshereaflower,thereabush,yonderafleecycloud;andsheattemptedtoguidemymindonitsway,knowingthatlikeabrookitshouldbefedbymountainstreamsandhiddensprings,untilitbroadenedoutintoadeepriver,capableofreflectinginitsplacidsurface,billowyhills,theluminousshadowsoftreesandtheblueheavens,aswellasthesweetfaceofalittleflower.
Anyteachercantakeachildtotheclassroom,butnoteveryteachercanmakehimlearn.Hewillnotworkjoyouslyunlesshefeelsthatlibertyishis,whetherheisbusyoratrest;hemustfeeltheflushofvictoryandtheheart-sinkingofdisappointmentbeforehetakeswithawillthetasksdistastefultohimandresolvestodancehiswaybravelythroughadullroutineoftextbooks.
MyteacherissoneartomethatIscarcelythinkofmyselfapartfromher.Howmuchofmydelightinallbeautifulthingsisinnate,andhowmuchisduetoherinfluence,Icannevertell.Ifeelthatherbeingisinseparablefrommyown,andthatthefootstepsofmylifeareinhers.Allthebestofmebelongstoher–thereisnotatalent,oranaspirationorajoyinmethathasnotbeenawakenedbyherlovingtouch.